I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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