If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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