Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
