Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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