I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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