is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
