do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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