I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
