i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
