Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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