Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
