She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
