I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
