We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
