She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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