I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
