I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
