Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
