Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
