she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
my poor anus
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
