If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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