i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
