This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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