You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
