Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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