During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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