I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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