Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
