she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
