i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
