this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
