Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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