I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
