windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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