I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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