Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
