Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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