I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
