my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
