Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
