i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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