I am spending my child support on dildos
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
