Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
