hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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