I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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