She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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