id be glad to
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
