did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
