My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
