Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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