And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
