and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
